Mazatlan feb 18th Night 2010
Spectacular lightning storm on the horizon last night but sadly it did not roll over us. I have hoped that thunder would boom and lightning would slash the skies and rain the size of eggs would pelt the resort. No luck.
I tried my best to get a picture but my camera was not set up for such things, (and I EVEN read the instructions.)
Had a bad night’s sleep. Sadness and loss overwhelmed me and I couldn’t find peace. In all good stories, the protagonist suffers. I get that. The Hero suffers and endures and overcomes. However, I am not the hero in the story of Mojo. Margot was. I was the comic sidekick. The best supporting actor.
No story should end up with the hero dead and the comic sidekick having to find a way to continue on. It’s against all rules of story telling. It’s just wrong.
A part of them thinks I should be able to move on by now by that doesn’t seem to be happening. I am managing to do things, albeit pretty simple things but that pain of loss doesn’t seem to want to go away. I am betting pretty heavily that time will heal this wound but, so far, time has let me down again.
No, no, no. I disagree. (I know, I know, big surprise there!). You are a hero too. You were each other's heroes. You were her hero. You saved her time and again. And you are our hero too. You always have been.
ReplyDeleteOh! And you read instructions?! Gasp! Choke!
ReplyDeleteThe only way out is through, Joe...and you're doing it.
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself Joe. You will feel grief whenever it comes up, however long (or not) it will take. Just allow it to happen.
ReplyDeleteI want to echo Sheila's sentiments... and Lani's. Give yourself time, as well as forgiveness- you didn't fail Margot, her body did. In matters like these there is no 'appropriate' schedule for feeling... One day at a time my friend.
ReplyDelete