The First Test

Feb 25th about noonish.

Complete and utter panic was the first thing I felt as my feet left the platform and I zoomed forward along the zipline, feet dangling into the air. My hand behind me wanted to grip the line and slow me down. My other hand gripped the safety strap like my life depended on it.

It was a battle between my lizard brain and my higher reasoning.
Grip the line, dammit.
No, stay steady.
Grip the line, safe yourself.
No, it’ll all be ok.
I’m gonna grip that line.
No, no you won’t.

In the end, my fear of being the only one so far to stop in the middle (and that included mr 250lb no-neck), overrode my fear of heights and uncontrolled speed.

It took only seconds but in those long seconds, I gained control of myself and soared down the line...

Only to start to spin.

Fuck me.

The way to stop the spin, they’d told us is to use your back hand as a guide, to right yourself by pulling lightly on the line. But, zipping along at a great rate, turning slowly, how light is light? What if I pull too hard and stop all together?

I continued to spin.

I was now nearly facing the rear and had to do something or else risk coming in not only fast but with my ass first. Oh sure there are those who say I do a lot of that in real life but they mean that figuratively and here I was about to ass land on top of a small Mexican.

I tightened my grip on the line and tried to rebalance myself. I leaned backwards. I pivoted in my harness. I continued to pick up speed and tore past the half way point.

I hadn’t gripped too hard and I began to right myself but what I saw was a big ass platform coming up really fast and the operator pumping his hand up and down in rapid fashion. Slow the fuck down! I yanked on my line but it was almost too late. Like a rocket, I roared onto the platform, the hand gripping the line hot as hell from the friction. I pulled down with all my strength, the line dipped, my feet shot up and I hit the platform way faster than anyone my size should. But I landed on my feet, safe.

The operator shook his head, too fast, amigo, too fast. No shit, I said, laughing, pretty much happy to have made it.

I asked him how better to control the spinning and he said to lean back, leaning forward shifts the center of gravity to one large point. My ass, I quipped. He laughed but said, yes. If you spread out your weight, it is easy not to spin.

Would it work?


(2 pictures, 1 of the 1st zip line and the other of me on that first zip line, and yes, the harness did nothing to flatter my already large bum.)