Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Horsing Around




After paying for the horse ride, I was joined by a nice, middle-age lady who had ridden before. She leapt up and into the saddle like a veteran.

Now, I needed to do the same. I looked at the horse, he looked at me, I looked at the saddle and did what the lady had done, grip the pommel with one hand and the back of the saddle with the other. In all the westerns they only seem to grip the saddle pommel but fuck me, I needed all the help I could get.

I took a deep breath and yanked myself up and swung my meaty leg over the back of the horse and sat down in the saddle.

Easy!

I may have let out a pip of glee but let’s, for the moment, pretend I didn’t and just sat tall in the saddle like this was something I did all the time. Let’s also pretend that I didn’t beam like the village idiot.

Ok, so no instructions. No, pull on this, kick that, poke here, jerk there. Nothing. The guy who owned the horses, Joe was his name, made a clicking sound and off we went. Hey, it felt pretty good being up high, loping along, one hand on the reins, the other fishing in my pocket for my camera. Oh sure I didn’t have a cool white hat but I felt like I was king of the world.

I turned to my riding companion, Catherine from Ontario and, after the usual talk of where ya from, how long ya staying, I asked if she had ridden before (she had, a lot) and could she give me a few tips. Steer with the reins and your legs, she said, pull back hard if he bolts, don’t put any pressure if he’s doing fine. Seemed all very sensible. I turned my horsie a bit to the left to avoid running over a black family and horsie obeyed. I turned him right to stomp on some fresh sand and horsie obeyed.

Let’s pretend I didn’t let out a pip of pleasure. Let’s pretend I didn’t smile like the village idiot. It felt great to have control over such a large and powerful beast. Catherine, however, wanted to race her horse, have it charge across the dunes kicking up sand. She wanted to feel the wind in her hair and breeze on her face.

Problem was, her horse wouldn’t run. I had the running horse. At the first turnaround, we switch horses so she could get what she wanted and I, frankly, had no real desire to spoil my perfect record of horse-riding so far. I leapt off the saddle like a pro, landed on my feet like I knew what I was doing and, yes, probably pipped a little. Then I got on the other horse, a shaggier horse, and sat down in the saddle. No problem.

"You want to run, amigo?" Joe asked.
"Errr."
"Run?"
"Urhm."
"Amigo?"
"Gack."

The owner gave instructions to Catherine, hola, bueno mexico taco, burrito hasta la vista hombre nombre siesta. We didn’t understand a word but she nodded and said she knew what she was doing. Cool I thought. Made me want to take lesson for sure, that way I could...

She kicked her horse in the sides, shouted something and whammo her horse took off in a spray of sand. Way cool thought I until my horse followed. With a jerk, it shot forward and into a gallop.

Fuck me.

My horse finally decided to run because the other horse had run.

I want to say it felt exhilarating, that I listened to the hooves thump into the sand as the wind whipped my face but instead, all I could hear was the owner shouting, pull, pull, pull and see him in my peripheral vision running behind me, waving his arms. Beneath me, the horse had turned slightly and galloped for the rope fence.

Fuck me.

In desperation, I pulled and the horse stopped and turned and stomped and the owner raced up to grab the reins.

Whew. We'd covered maybe 30 yards, not far, not that long but, boy, did that wake me up.

As my heart pounded, I thought on what happened. First, it was not really a gallop, the actual term might be a canter but it felt like a gallop to me. Second, we were near his resting spot and he wanted to get to it quickly, I guess. Third, he is, at his core, a herd animal if one of the herd runs, so too does the rest of the herd.

After that, the rest of the ride was pretty calm, my horse being a little grumpy, stopping suddenly (I swear, I did nothing) or trying to gallop again when the other one did but each time the horse looked like he was going to do something, Joe-the-owner was right there.

So, yes, I survived a long ride up and down the beach.

However, something no one tells you is your ass and your thighs hurt like mad. Imagine being spanked for an hour (and I know there are some of you who can do more than imagine) and you get the idea. Plus, heat, sweat and rubbing = chaffing.

But still, I had a great time and survived the runaway horse, who, I really suspect, knew what he was doing and would have stopped at his resting spot without me having to yank on his reins.

Got a picture of myself and then went inside to eat, drink and pip gleefully but quietly to myself.

Afterwards, I went and found the jet ski guy but he wanted $50 for ½ hour and though I tried to use my incredible bargaining skills, “hey, look, no one's in line up and you’ve not had any customers today, let’s say $35 for ½ hour.” “$50.” “Better to get $35 now than sit in the sun.” “$50.” “No, I think I’ll not go.” “$50.”

Now, in hindsight, not sure he even understood my masterful negotiation (or English) his repetition of $50 making him a moron or just a bad negotiator. But I really couldn’t see myself paying $50 for this experience.

It actually was a pretty big conflict. My need to do something cool vs my need not to pay $100 an hour for it. So, instead, went to catch up on my blog but horrors, of horrors, couldn’t get connected. *sigh*

Went outside to read in the sun. Warhammer 40K novel. Easy read. I’d read a few by this fellow and found them to be ok. But this one was actually pretty good. Pacing was better, he made his character suffer more and I found myself loving what he had written. Like Danielle Steele, it takes talent to write good military SF and this guy had found his grove.

Retired for naps around 3, had a great supper around 6, then back to the blog writing. Felt like a good day.

2 comments:

  1. Pip! for that :o) FYI, from my limited horse riding experience, I find that you really notice the pain the next day. Hope you aren't feeling it too much today!

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  2. I DON'T want to hear you complaining! At least you have some padding. Imagine my bony tailbone. You actually look really cool up there on that horse. Just saying.

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