Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Grand Tour Begins


After doing my morning writing, I prepared to venture into unknown lands without backup, without someone who could navigate the weirdest of cities, without any ability to speak the language. However, I did have my contacts in, my new, cool sunglasses and I wore my deep-pocketed shorts and only slightly smelly sandals.

One thing I needed, apart from a Margot, was a purse. How does any guy live without one? There is so much shit to pack around and I have only so many pockets in my shorts. I stuffed one pocket with my notebook and pen and vital hotel info and the other one with my sunglass . I put my wallet in my front pocket and my camera in the other front pocket. In case of theft, I put $200 US in a secret zip pocket inside my shorts.

I was ready.

I went downstairs in search of suntan lotion. I had found a map and that map indicated there was a store tucked away in the distant part of the resort. So much for my reconnaissance.

I bought lvl 15 and paid an exorbitant amount (180 Pesos!). I then liberally applied it to all my whitie areas likely to be exposed to the sun. Arms. Head. Neck. Small bit of chest. I sat on a ledge in one of the front windows and while I was lathering up, an nice old fella came up to me and started talking to me. He was from Minnesota and had lived vacationed here for the last 40 years. He just wanted to check out this resort because it has only recently been completed. Nice guy.

After he went in search of more info than I could, I ordered a taxi. Open topped or closed, the concierge asked.

Open topped? Cool? Mercedes? BMW?

No. Golf cart. But it’s cheaper.

Cheaper is good. I got in and off we went with surprising speed. I may look like a golf cart, it may have the back support and open sides of a golf cart but it zooms like a old volkswagon driven by a madman. It was a long way into town and the guy tried to talk me into taking a fishing trip but I said no. He didn’t press the point and we drove in silence for 30 odd minutes, past all the new condos and resorts, through the ‘golden zone’ (which means a graffiti filled part of town where there are Senior Frog’s every two blocks.), and finally in to the old town.

Only problem, I didn’t want to be in the old town. Yet, armed only with my mayor-McCheese map, I had no idea this was true. Paid the guy and asked about getting a taxi back. He said he could come back and I said great. I asked him when the parade would be over and he said probably around 5. So, let’s make it 5:30. The RUI had said it starts at 3 and that would give me tons of time. Right?

I tipped him 50 pesos in hopes he would return and began my tour at 12:30.

There was a huge sign that said centro historical this way. Hmm, I thought. My mayor-McCheese map has that far to the north of where I wanted to be.

However, there was a nice paseo and all along it were vendors setting up in anticipation of the carnival, so, with hours to spare, the sun coming out, an entire city getting ready for a party, I began to walk.

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